Faith

I'm not sure if anyone actually reads this blog, but what I do know is that it's freeing and very therapeutic for me to write on it, so I'm going to do more -- I've missed having a space to express myself.

Since my last post, a lot has changed! For the past 3.5 years I have been working a part-time office job. I took the job initially because we needed the extra money, then we became pregnant and really needed the extra money. But, this job was never anything I enjoyed or was interested in. Sitting at a desk for hours working on the computer goes against every creative fiber of my being. It was emotionally, mentally, creatively, spiritually and even physically draining. And all I wanted was to be home with our daughter.

Well, after my trip to Arizona it became very clear to me that it was time to quit my job and take a leap of faith into a more fruitful life. Throughout that weekend God kept shouting at me "Be Still!" Yes....I said shouting. Literally every time I would try to ponder other ideas, all I could think was "Be still, be still, be still, etc." It was like a broken record in my head!


I also felt very led to pursue my art more full-time. So, 3 weeks later, I quit my job! We took a huge leap of faith and it was really scary but the amazing thing is that it feels so right, not only to me but to my husband and family.


I read the following right before I quit my job and I've been clinging to it ever since:

Faith Is...
By: Ellen M Cuomo

Faith is risking what is for what is yet to be.
It is taking small steps knowing that they lead to bigger ones.
Faith is holding on when you want to let go.
It is letting go when you want to hold on.
Faith is saying yes when everything else says no.
It is believing all things are possible in the midst of impossibilities.
Faith is looking beyond what is and trusting what will be.
It is the presence of light in darkness, the presence of God in all.

Right now, I'm clinging to faith! I absolutely love being home, I love being with my daughter, I love walking her to preschool and picking her up, I love having more time to paint and pursue the things I am passionate about. And, I have NO doubt in my mind that I am where I am supposed to be! I am happy!!

The faith part comes in here...what is next? I have so many big dreams, which one do I pursue first? What's the first step? What does God want from my life? What do I want from my life? How can I continue to grow as a wife and as a mother? How can I be fully present with my family?

So, I heard God...I listened...now what???

I think He is still saying... "Erin, Be Still!" ......... He knows that this is my biggest challenge.