Honored, Humbled

Last year I participated in a monthly gathering at a local church where we would read scripture, silently meditate on it and then break into small groups to share what was on our hearts. I loved being with this group and at the end of the year, as a way to say thank you, I made each person a gift.

Well, I ran into one of the ladies a few weeks ago and she wanted to tell me something....this summer she was forced to evacuate her home due to the wildfires. She only had 30 minutes to pack up and get out and therefore, very little time to grab what was meaningful to her that she didn't want to risk loosing. She then told me that one of the first things she grabbed was the necklace I had made for her! She said that necklace meant so much to her that she knew immediately she didn't want to leave it behind.

WOW, I was blown away (to say the least). Shocked, humbled, grateful!

THIS is why I create. I do it for myself, but I also do it for others - to show them how much they mean to me. I love working on a project/gift for someone because while I'm using my heart, mind and hands to make something special for them, it allows me the time and space to focus on that person in my life. To really think about them, who they are, what they like and what they mean to me. It truely is a blessing!

And, I'm not gonna lie, it feels good to know that it is appreciated.

My goal for 2010.....Create! Create! Create!

PS -- her house was fine -- they were evacuated for 2 days but no damage from the fires.

My new daily mantra...

“I'm always thinking about creating. My future starts when I wake up every morning . . . Every day I find something creative to do with my life.” - Miles Davis

Memories

I can't remember exactly when or where I got this little violin (and I do mean little, see the pen sitting next to it!) - but what I do remember is spending hours looking at it, playing with it, delicately admiring it. My guess is that I was around 10 years old when I got it.

It's stayed at my parents house but they recently sent it to me. The other night I spent at least half an hour enjoying it. The second I open up the case there is this smell that envelops me and takes me back to my childhood. When I see my hands caressing it, I see the hands of a young child exploring, admiring, dreaming.

I played the violin for 9 years growing up. In the beginning, I loved it - but as the years wore on I began to hate it. My interests were in other areas and practicing was the last thing I wanted to do. I therefore quickly dropped to the back of the class in skill level and remained there until I graduated high school. I haven't touched my violin since.

As I think about it, I believe the reason I stuck with it all those years was because I thought it made my parents proud. And because I hadn't stuck with anything I'd tried (piano, ballet, tap, soccer, girl scouts, etc...) I used to feel guilty about this, like I was a failure and couldn't complete what I had started. But what I realize now is that that is what kids do and I am SO thankful for all of those experiences! Everything I ever participated in, no matter how short, I learned something, I built memories and they all molded me into the person I am today --- a woman with a diverse background of experience, a hunger for knowledge, and an interest in a wide variety of things in life.

I am multifaceted, complex, and I like it that way.

Me

Part of being an artist is knowing who you are or, more accurately, exploring who you are. As I've been going about my daily life lately I've been naturally listing things in my head about who I am, what I like, what I think, etc... I thought it might be useful to write some of these things down.

It will also be interesting to see if/how these change over the years.

A Little Bit About Me...

*I will be 30 this year and I find myself looking forward to it. I've spent my 20's trying to discover who I am, I think when I turn 30 I'm going to say "screw it - this is who I am, I'm going for it, deal with it" - haha.

*I can't go to bed without saying goodnight to my sleeping daughter.

*I hate hair when it is not attached to someone's head - loose hair makes me gag.

*I learned last night that cleaning mini-blinds is actually therapeutic.

*I too often let fear stop me from going after what I really want.

*On occasion I still care what people think, but for the most part I've let that go.

*If I could rid the world of spiders, ants and bees I would.

*Working with my hands to create something is like life-giving water to me - without it, I will die of thirst.

*I'm scared to say "I'm an artist" when people ask what I do. I feel like a fraud because I don't sell much art and I haven't been in any shows. But, on a deeper level, I know that art making is about SO MUCH MORE than that!

*I believe everyone has a creative spirit.

*I'm tired of waiting for the "right moment" to do things - I want to live life IN the moment - it's now or never.

*I don't understand why so many children have to suffer through so much at such a young age.

*I can't watch the news anymore because it depresses me, scares me and creates too much anxiety -- they seriously play on people's nerves.

*I never want my daughter to question my lust for life - I want her to witness me growing and pursuing what's important.

*I don't want to push my daughter to be anything - I just want to let her "self" unfold so she can be who she naturally is.

*If I could hire someone to cook & clean my house every day but I'd never see them, I would.

*I might have to stop watching such high-drama tv shows - they seem to create too much drama/anxiety inside me. I think I get too attached to the characters & stories.

*I hate the word "should" -- I don't like feeling like I "should" do things, I want to do them because I want to do them.

*I've been avoiding my studio because I don't know what to do/where to go.

*I love wearing funky socks - it makes me happy.

*I'm forever grateful to my husband for teaching me how to be free!

*I want to make a difference in this world - on the day I die, I want to know that my life meant something and I want to be thankful for that.

Caroline On The Beach

A drawing I did in my sketchbook this weekend from a photo....well, not a real photograph but from a photo on my iphone.

This was a great moment/memory for me - Caroline, my daughter, was experiencing her first walk on the beach and loved it!

Drawing Class Exercise

About 2 hours

Saturday Night Craft Project

Happy Halloween!!!

What is an Artist??

Webster Definition of an Artist:

1 : one skilled or versed in learned arts
2 : one who professes and practices an imaginative art : a person skilled in one of the fine arts
3 : skilled performer
4 : one who is adept at something

I looked up this definition thinking that I wouldn't like what I found...turns out, I do like it.

Why?

Because I like the words used (skilled, learned, practices, adept). In my head, the definition of an artist is someone who is a master of what they do. I've always struggled with calling myself an "artist" because I have never "mastered" a certain art form. I have experience in many mediums and have been told that I am gifted in certain areas but I tend to like variety. I would love to be a master painter but I'm discovering that as much as I love to paint, it's not enough for me. I tend to hop from craft to craft and this satisfies me in a good way.

So, I want to give up my definition of an artist and accept who I am and where my interests lie. I want to embrace the diversity that ocurrs in my studio and unabashadely explore where my heart leads.

In the end, I feel like this makes me more whole. I love having experience in many areas because each project I do reaches a certain part of me and affects me in different ways. I am also grateful to have a variety of experience so that I can help others on their journey of learning to be creative in whatever way is comfortable and interesting for them.

I may not be a "master" per say, but I am "skilled, learned, adept and practicing art" - therefore, by definition, I am an artist.

New Jewelry

I finished some more necklaces last night. They are all for sale, so contact me if you are interested (erindrez@yahoo.com).
I can also custom make something to fit your style. Remember, these make great presents too!! Christmas is coming...

(They are two sided with different images on each side)

Sketch

A quick sketch I did while my daughter was sleeping -- I think I'm becoming obsessed with the backs of people. There is something compelling about catching people in the act of living life when they don't even know you are looking. I love watching people just experience this world. Who knows where this idea will go...